Touching View

I'm sitting here browsing the internet when I look up and see my hubby snuggling with our new kitten (he just brought it home yesterday). He looks so cute and so sweet holding her. I can only imagine what kind of a father he would have been to Noah. To top it off, it's Sunday... they probably would be sitting on the lounge chair, snuggled up, watching football and the NASCAR race all day. The things I am missing out on... this just plain SUCKS!!!

We did get a picture of each of us holding him in the hospital and he definitely is a proud father... even if for just a day or two. I, however, was in ICU and looked horrible in my picture while holding him. I barely remember it unfortunately. That's the part that really sucks for me. I barely remember holding him and I was in so much pain that I couldn't snuggle and really look at him.

We also went to a friends house last night. They are also expecting in January. I swear everyone we know is expecting at this point in time. Anyway, he was talking about wrestling and all kinds of things he was going to do with his son. It hurts... it really, really hurts that we didn't get that chance. It was great while we were both pregnant, talking about the 4 of them going out hunting and our boys wrestling together. Our sons would be (should be) in school together. Now, there is a missing piece to that picture of our future.

I've been reading someone else's blog that also lost her child (I personally don't know her but wish I did). She said that for her daughter's 1 year birthday that's coming up, they were going to have a party with family and release balloons. That really got me thinking... I think on July 20, 2012 we are going to have a little party with just our parents and release balloons up to him. I think it'd also be nice to write a little message to him on the balloons. Someone, somewhere will know about our son when those balloons land.