Baby Carson Update

I guess I need to try to keep up with this a little more. I haven't been so good at documenting my pregnancy. Heck, we haven't even kept up with pictures very well.

This pregnancy has also been a "normal" pregnancy with the exhaustion, being miserable, tired and just downright feeling pregnant. So different than Noah. I also found out a couple weeks ago that I have gestational diabetes which wasn't a surprise since they told me I'm insulin resistant last summer while going through the fertility treatments. So I have that to deal with this time around as well.

Other than feeling downright crappy all the time (emotionally and physically), I'm getting by. I'm more than ready for July to come! I'm ready to have my baby in my arms. Ready for life to finally be looking up. Craig and I have also had a rough patch over the last couple months so I'm hoping we have that all cleared up and we can move on as a family now. I really think this rainbow baby has put us into such an emotional roller coaster that we don't know which way is up anymore. I'm sure once he's here, we will feel much better. I think we're both just so scared this time around and it's been weighing on both of us very heavily.

So other than those few issues, he seems to be doing really well. He's (and I) growing like crazy and moving all the time. I'm SO SO SO thankful for all the movement though... even at 2am! I was never woken up or kept awake by Noah... Carson certainly has stronger kicks and keeps me awake at night. I truly cherish each movement though. We also have been seeing him a lot through the ultrasounds. One positive thing about gestational diabetes is that I have an ultrasound every 4 weeks to measure him and make sure he's not getting too big from the diabetes. We have another appointment this Friday and ultrasound! Then we're onto every 2 weeks for doctors visits... time is flying! I have about 10-11 more weeks until he's scheduled to be here!

This Sunday is also our March for Babies walk with the March of Dimes in memory of Noah. We have a huge team coming out and we'll all have our Team Noah shirts on! I'm so excited to do something in honor of Noah. I'll be sure to post pictures after the walk on Sunday. We are also going to be finishing up the nursery here soon so I'll be sure to get pictures of those up as well. And by request, I will put some pictures of my growing belly up too! :)

The Big Reveal

So yesterday was our "20" week appointment... it was really 20 weeks and 6 days. We were able to find out what we were having...

First let me tell you what our plan was and then I'll tell you where we stand with that plan :)

On Saturday we have a party with our family planned for the Big Reveal. Our idea was for a friend of ours to make the cake and none of us (including Craig and I) know what we're having until Saturday. No big deal, right?

So yesterday, we go to our appointment. Everything looks great. Baby is growing great. The whole time we swore it's a girl. I have this huge feeling it's a girl. Craig has the same feeling. The ultrasound tech asks if we want to know. I tell her we would like her to put it in an envelope so we can share it with our families together this weekend. Great! Everything is working as planned. She writes down what she thinks it is and what percentage she feels she is correct.

We have the rest of our appointment. We go to my mom's for Craig to get his hair cut. We talked about how much we feel that it's a girl. We talk about how we're going to get rid of the boy clothes so we can now replenish with girl stuff. We then go home, have dinner while this envelope sits on the livingroom table just staring at us! "Open me! Open me!" It was calling our name, it really was... I heard it! Haha

So around 8:30pm we couldn't take it anymore... we vowed that it was our secret that we know before Saturday. No one will ever know that we found out before we should have. No, we can't do that. We just can't! But I can't stand that envelope sitting there either!

Craig caved... he opened it! BOY 99%!!! To say we were shocked was an understatement. I SWEAR we were having a girl... really 99% boy?? Wow!! Either way was great news but I swore I was going to be correct again... well, up until 3 weeks ago. I thought it was a boy up until about 3 weeks ago, then switched to think it's a girl. So there it was on that piece of paper... BOY!!! Another little boy. We are so excited!! So here we go! Carson (no middle name yet) is on his way in July!

We both had to look at the paper again this morning to be sure we didn't dream this up. Still says "Boy 99%"!

So as it stands... our family still doesn't know that we know already. We hope to keep it a secret between us. I still plan on thinking it's a girl on Saturday since everyone knows that's my feeling. :) Hehe

Almost halfway!

So here we are 18 weeks along. We have 3 more weeks until we find out what our little one is. I can't wait!! I've had this feeling all along that it's a boy but the last few days, I'm not so sure now. There are some differences from last time that lead me to believe it just might be a little girl.

Reasons to believe it's a girl:
- It's taking much longer (2 weeks and counting!) for me to really feel this baby move. I felt Noah at 16 weeks. I've been feeling this baby but not as much. I first felt this baby at 2 days shy of 17 weeks but I don't feel it everyday. So thankful for our heartbeat monitor I bought!! :)
- My hubby was able to feel Noah move on Valentine's Day last time. Valentine's Day is in 2 days, I don't see that happening at all since I can barely feel it move.
- And since I can barely feel it move I'm thinking it's a smaller baby. To me, smaller baby = girl. Haha!
- I've also only gained about 1.5 lbs so far. With Noah I'm pretty sure I gained 5+ lbs by the time I was halfway. They also told me he wouldn't be much more than 6lbs because of the size hubby and I were at birth... Noah was 7lbs. 3oz so quite a bit bigger than they expected.

My only reason to believe it's a boy is that we're still fixated on calling it a "him" from Noah being a him. I just don't have that strong boy feeling this time. Last time, I had almost no doubt it was a boy.

So on March 4th hopefully this little one will cooperate so we can find out! I want to finish our nursery and be able to actually "do" stuff for this baby. Since we had just about everything bought last time, it's been a little on the boring side so far. But thankfully time is flying! I'm so ready for sometime around the 4th of July!

So other than anxiously awaiting to find out what "it" is, I've been feeling pretty good. No morning sickness or anything like that. I have been really tired and still am semi tired most days. I'm hoping it's just because of this really extreme, rare cold weather we've been having. BRING ON SPRING ALREADY!

Update

I saw this yesterday and thought how well that fits me even though I never thought about it. I can certainly say emotionally, this pregnancy is pretty hard on me. But we're getting through it and getting more and more excited as the weeks go by.

The biggest and hardest thing for me this time around is the guilt I have. I feel so guilty for being excited and preparing for this baby. But I also feel guilty for this baby because I haven't been as excited as I was with Noah. I know WAY to much bad stuff that can happen now. (I knew I shouldn't have read everything I did over the last 2 years! lol)




We saw our little one on Monday. He/she is buried pretty good in there so the doc wanted to be 100% (she was 99%) sure she was hearing the heartbeat, so she also did a quick ultrasound with pictures. Here is our sweet little one at almost 13 weeks.

My hubby even said (and I saw it!) that he gets so teary eyed when he sees our little one on the screen. And he said he's going to bawl like a baby when he holds him/her. I said it's ok to do that and I'm sure I will be too! I'm sure it's because it's something we both have wanted so bad for so long... and it's finally coming true!

I did it!

Last night, I "jumped" a very unexpected hurdle in my life. One that I didn't think I would do until our next child was born... I held a baby... she's only a month old. May not sound like a lot to most people but that was the first baby since Noah but she was so adorable and my (sad/bad) emotions were totally not there last night. So that was exciting for me. I think I shocked Craig though cause he just looked at me and smiled.

Other than that, things are still going pretty well. I will hit 10 weeks tomorrow and so far things are good. I'm still scared to death but each week that passes, I can feel myself letting loose a little bit. We had our first regular doctor's visit last week. They didn't do a complete ultrasound but we did get to see the little babe and see the heartbeat. Everything looked great! He also asked if I wanted to wait and go naturally or schedule a c-section... I said, without hesitation, "definitely not natural!" I thought we were all on the same page with my whole pregnancy. :( But I think they are taking the specialists word now and believing that the odds are the same as the first time (less than 1%) Before last week my doctors all were believing I had HELLPS which is a 25% chance of re-occurrence in other pregnancies... however, the specialist said I definitely did not have HELLPS because none of the 4 big signs were present. So it's going to be a crazy emotional pregnancy but I'm sure I'll be fine. He did reassure me that if at any point I needed to come in just to hear a heartbeat, that I could so that made me feel better.

First Appointment Scheduled

I have my first appointment (ultrasound) on Monday, November 25th... so 1 more week! I can't wait to hear the heartbeat (since the last words I heard about my baby's heartbeat was that they couldn't find one). Then next week we will be telling our parents. I wanted to wait until closer to the end of the first trimester, which isn't until January 1, but I can't wait any longer! I want to tell them NOW but I want to wait until after our first appointment confirms that everything is ok.

I also discovered that even though I'm over the moon excited about this, it's also a very boring time until probably February when we find out what we're having. Since we have all of the basics, there's not much to buy or do right now. And the only things we'll change is the theme in the nursery and add curtains that we didn't get to before. Other than that, we're not changing much (unless it's a girl, then we'll need clothes). So right now is so boring. I'm sure it will be nice after I start to feel him/her move cause I can actually enjoy it without worrying about buying stuff and making sure we have the things we need. We won't even have to decide on names... we're 99.9% sure on the boys name and about 90% sure on the girls name so that's pretty much done too.

I think this is going to be a VERY LONG 7.5 months!!!

Oh My Gosh!

So I know not many people read this and I think only two in my area so if you two are reading this... IT'S STILL A SECRET SO DON'T TELL ANYONE! :)

The long awaited news is finally here... I'M PREGNANT!! I still can't believe it and it's so funny how God works sometimes and his timing. So as long as everything goes well, we will be having another July baby. :)

Now for some background of God's timing... I quit taking all medications and fertility meds last month after being on them for 4 months and we decided to "quit trying". We found out on November 7, 2010 that we were pregnant with Noah. We found out November 8, 2013 that we're pregnant with #2. Noah was due July 15, 2011 this one is due July 16, 2014 (although they will be taking it a few days/weeks earlier... so somewhere around a 4th of July baby!)

I still can't believe it! I have to call yet today to make my first appointment which will hopefully be next week (all kinds of special treatment this time around... earlier appointments, more appointments, etc)

So thoughts and prayers as we get through this first trimester would be greatly appreciated! :)