We're not ready...

We had a friend of ours drop in last night... actually it was her, her husband and their little boy (who is almost 2). Her and I were talking while the guys were going out to get dinner that we had ordered. She told us that she talked to K (we'll call her that... the friends I seem to complain about all the time that just had a baby 2 months ago). Anyway, she said that K told her that my hubby and I haven't called or shown interest in seeing the baby. Well, duh!!! Not since you've been pushing people to see him (my in-laws... they just dropped by one day and didn't get the hint that they were ready for them to leave. My MIL weren't happy at all with things they said or did that night. People don't realize that it's hard on the grandparents too (especially ones that were going to be first time grandparents... like both of our parents), not just the parents!) This friend from last night (we'll call her M) said that it's not a big deal since it's hasn't even been 6 months yet. M is one of those friends who asked before bringing her child around but still wanted to hang out. She actually said that she can have one of their parents watch their son while they visit us if we're uncomfortable with him being there. Of course, he's not a newborn so it doesn't seem to bother me nearly as much. But at least they called, wanted to hang out and asked what is best for us because they didn't know. How hard it is to just ASK us!

Can't these people realize that we don't really want to see newborns right now!! Quit talking behind our backs and telling other people that you're offended because we haven't seen your child!!! NO CRAP we haven't see your child... we're NOT ready! Besides that, they've been telling people that they don't know whether to ask to visit or us to visit them... how about you CALL us and find out if we're ready to see the baby yet! They're the ones comparing their miscarriage at 10 weeks the same as our loss and I guess expect us to move on so quickly. Yes, we're moving on and trying again but it doesn't mean we're ready to see other people's little ones yet especially ones that are forcing people to visit or thinking we don't like them simply because we're not ready to visit with them. I just don't know how we'll handle visiting or seeing them, that's why we haven't. I think I'll be ok but I honestly don't know until I'm in that situation and they aren't the ones I really want to try things with after how they've been treating us. And even our friend M said last night that she's not so sure they'll get the hint that we're ready for them to leave which obviously is the case since they did it with my in-laws a couple weeks ago.

Sorry they have just gotten on my last nerve. At least our other friends either have stopped talking to us altogether (guess it's time to move on from them) or they ask us if we're comfortable with certain things or talking about certain things instead of assuming things. Yes, we went through a loss... give us time before you assume we don't want to see you. It's not just you... it's anyone with newborns! We do have another set of WONDERFUL friends that have been there for us through this whole thing that is due next week with a little boy so I think we are going to try and see how we deal with little ones with them since they've been so much more supportive than our other friends have.

I just hate that we have to go through this... everyone just acts like we're so different now... especially people who I thought were our friends.

Ok vent over! On a better note... I went back to my doctor yesterday for the last time after everything that happened. I told her that we were trying again and she said that she hopes to see me around spring then. She was so nice and I really like her. I also asked her if she wanted me to see her for my appointments next time (I go to a group and I could see any 1 of 9 different doctors when I go during my pregnancy. Last time I saw about 5 of them throughout my pregnancy). She said that she'd prefer it since she knows my history and I said that I'd feel a lot more comfortable. So it makes me feel better about things again. I'm still scared out of my mind but she's been making me feel a little at ease every time I see her (which as been like 4 times in the last 6 months).