A Mother's Love

I just finished a book called A Mother's Love about a mother who lost her daughter in Costa Rica in an ATV accident. In the book she talked about all kinds of signs that her daughter was giving her to let her know what she was ok and still with her. I was thinking as I read the book that I don't get any signs or anything I believe to be signs from Noah. I thought maybe it was because he didn't get to live outside my belly or learn anything about the outside world.

But this past week I've gotten 2 (what I think are) signs as I finished the book. Monday evening I noticed that a balloon from my 30th birthday (yes, 3 months later we still have this balloon LOL). This balloon had been in my office since my birthday (at one end of our hallway). Well on Monday I noticed the balloon on top of a pile of stuff we're getting rid of at the complete opposite end of our hallway. I know the cats couldn't put it up there (I also think the pile would topple over if the cats were to get up there) and I have no idea how it got out of the office and down at the opposite end of the hallway. So then I went and got a shower that same night, when I got out, it was in our bedroom stuck on the ceiling in the corner. This balloon will not stay afloat anymore so it was weird how it was all of a sudden on the ceiling again like it had new helium in it. It hasn't been on the ceiling since about 2 days after my birthday.

Then yesterday I heard and saw Noah's name ATLEAST a dozen times throughout the day. We hardly ever hear or see his name. We used to see it many, many times during the day after he passed but haven't seen it nearly as much lately. I guess I needed that constant reminder that he is still with us.

So I guess I need to watch for those little signs when I need them most... like now with all the hope that has been lost the last couple months for us. I know it will happen in His time but it's so hard to be patient. I know He has a plan for everything we are going through... I just wish I could see a glimpse of what that reason is. "Why us?" crosses my mind every single day...