Christmas is on it's way

This weekend was my family's annual Christmas party and then on Sunday we went and bought our tree. The Christmas party wasn't bad. I don't really see or talk to many of them on that side of the family all but at Christmas time so I don't think any of them really knew that I was pregnant so that wasn't as bad as I thought. Although while I was getting ready... I kept thinking "I should be getting Noah ready for his first Christmas party"

Then Sunday it started sinking in... I teared up when we went to get our tree. These are things I envisioned doing with him. I can't imagine how I'm going to be on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I also ran into one of my wonderful (and that's an understatement!) nurses that I had while I was in the hospital. She is such an awesome person in my life, even to this day! She has been through a couple losses herself (although a little different but kind of the same) and she actually was the overnight nurse that I had most nights that I was there. So she would come and stay with me in my room and we just talked and she gave me massages all night cause I was so sore from being completely bedridden for 4 days. (Thankfully there were some days/nights where I was the only patient the nurses had). She still calls every so often to check up on me and it feels great to be remembered and thought of by them. I guess typically when people lose a child, they are in and out in a day or two... but my case was special since I was there for just over a week. Anyway, I saw her while working at the mall yesterday and she recognized me... minus about 60lbs that I had while in the hospital and my hair all chopped off. She told me how great I looked and how happy she was that I was doing so well. I told her that the holidays are creeping up and starting to get a little harder. She said she is working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day night if I needed to call her and talk.